Negative Habits I Let Go Of In 2017 (That You Should, Too!)
A STORY TO TELL A STORY
It was a Sunday; not unlike any other. We always went to her house on Sundays for family dinner. It was a warm, muggy June afternoon and the fans were trying, unsuccessfully, to blow the air through the old farmhouse with no central AC. Fortunately, her room had it's own AC unit; though, she didn't need it. She was cold all the time these days.
Michael sat in the armchair next to her bed and I cozied up on the bed beside her as I had done hundreds of times before. We spent the afternoon combing through jewelry and old memories. Momma made a list of things she wanted each kid to have. I was frustrated. I looked at her and said, "I don't want things. I want you." We all started crying, and Ivy looked at both of us and said, "I wish I had more time."
And that will be ingrained in my memory for as long as I live. She left us ten days later.
In the days following, I made a pact to live. I made a promise to her that I would live fully, so as to honor her memory.
2017 was a year of learning some of life's hardest lessons; through that adversity, my eyes were peeled open. I have become aware of so many things in my life were holding me back, including me. In my perseverance, I said no to habits that no longer had a place in my life; I hope this post serves you well to let go, too.
NEGATIVE HABITS I LEFT BEHIND IN 2017 (That You Should, Too!)
1. LETTING GO OF PERFECTION
For years, I was crippled with fear of taking the next step in whatever endeavor I was pursuing. I thought, "What will people think?" "It's not ready, it's doesn't look like what everyone else is doing, or I'll look stupid/foolish/silly, etc." Well, guess what? Things are never going to be perfect and if you never start, you can never grow. My advice to you is to let go of having something be perfect and get better as you go. If you wait for perfection, you will wait all your life and miss out on everything life has to offer you.
2. LETTING PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME.
I made the mistake of confusing friendship with convenience. On more than one occasion, I would be a resource or connection for someone else to further their career or success while being left in the dust later on. Last year, I promised to only surround myself with people who reciprocate, who fill me up, challenge me, and love me for who I am--not what I can do for them. I also learned to set boundaries on my relationships, remove or reduce the ones that didn't serve my life, and make new friends with like minded individuals.
3. ENTRUSTING MY SUCCESS TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Success looks different for everyone, of course, but throughout my career as a model, I thought that I had to rely on agents, photographers, casting directors, etc, to make or break where I was going with my life. Isn't that the farthest from the truth? We are the capable hands that guide our success--no one else. Don't let anyone tell you different. It's helpful to know people who know people, to build worthwhile relationships, and have a community support you, but ultimately, you are the hustle, grind, and grit behind your success.
3. TELLING MYSELF I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH
I'm certain that at least half of you reading this are in agreement with me on this. Imagine if we talked to ourselves the way we do our spouses, our children, and our friends? What if we told ourselves all the amazing things we could do and are capable of instead of all the things we can't do? For at least fourteen years, I didn't feel good, pretty, smart, or capable enough. I put my worth and value in the opinions of other people. Now? I know better. I am a capable, strong, and courageous person who has the world at her feet. I just want you to know that you are, too. Don't let your value be deteriorated, because of other opinions. Those opinions never cut you a check.